Admission: I’m a perfectionist.

My name is Mandy. And I’m a perfectionist.

I’ve always known that I like things to be just so, particularly things I work on. But yesterday a coworker and I were writing a “You might be a perfectionist if. . .” quiz for an upcoming Bible study for girls—and about 2 questions in, I wanted to throw things.

Do you replay all your mistakes when you’ve had a bad day?

Do you want to do something “just so” or not at all?

Is your worth dependent upon how well you do something?

Do you hate to ask for help?

On and on the questions went, and on and on my answers were yes.

I mean, I’m the person who remembers embarrassing things that happened in elementary school (ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!) and sometimes bring them to mind when I feel like I’ve failed to remind myself how much of a loser I am. I’m the person who will drown sometimes rather than asking for help. I’m the person who needs to realize that maybe perfectionism isn’t a good thing and let go of some of that striving.

So, today, instead of holding onto a project and obsessing over every last detail, I let go of it. I asked for help and let it go out of my hands. And the feeling wasn’t what I expected. Because instead of feeling like I was a failure, it felt a little like freedom.

Or freeing in the least.

Striving for perfection isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We should try to do things to the best of our ability for the glory of our Creator, but perfection doesn’t earn us any more favor or anymore of God’s love. Sometimes, I think what God wants to say to me most is: “Stop! Stop your striving! Just rest in Me!”

It’s the same thing He says in Psalm 46:10 when He encourages us to “Be still and know that I am God.”

And every once in awhile, I finally get the message.

2 thoughts on “Admission: I’m a perfectionist.”

  1. I feel you sister. I constantly battle with the desire to strive. This whole running thing has been an excellent teacher to me in this area. Sometimes, you just don’t meet your goals. Sometimes you need help. Sometime I need to take it easy on myself. XO, Little Miss Not-So-Perfect in Training. 😉

  2. Hi Mandy,

    I just came across your blog post about perfectionism. I am a Casting Associate in Los Angeles, and we are casting for a major TV network. We are looking for extreme cleaners, I am not sure if you necessarily clean a lot. But I thought I would give it a shot and contact you. If you are interested in finding out more information about our obsessive cleaner show, please contact me.

    Thank you for your time and consideration!

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