I’m a compare-er.
Which, you know, isn’t really a word.
But I’m big into comparison. Not really comparison shopping, per se, but comparison.
Well, she’s way prettier than me. I can’t compare to that so I shouldn’t even try.
He’s so much smarter than me, I have nothing to add to this conversation.
Wow! She’s so much more vibrant and fun than I am. I can’t even hold a candle to that.
He seems to have it all together. I’m just the lame wanderer who feels like everything is falling apart all the time. Why does his faith get to seem so easy and mine seems so almost broken all the time?
I think I’ve thought variations of nearly every one of those statements at one time or another. In the past few years, God has really started to hammer on this way of thinking and the way I’ve let it shape my life. I honestly have thought this way so long that I didn’t realize there was anything wrong with it.
The problem is, it’s all a lie.
This issue is really a worth issue. All of those derogative things I’ve said about myself in those moments of comparison have been about doubting or degrading my own worth. Really, when you get right done to it, every last one is me saying, I’m not worth very much. Not to God. Not to my friends. Not to anyone.
There was a time when I would have let myself sink into those feelings, to fall down into a pit of sadness and negative thoughts that only paralyzed me from doing anything that made a difference in my life or anyone else’s. For me, those thoughts lead to a kind of selfishness in which I’m so caught up in how unworthy I am, I can’t do anything for anyone else. It becomes all about me. My feelings. My worth. My thoughts.
And the thing I know that I know that I know is that it’s not all about me. And I could spend all my time comparing myself to the rest of the world and believe the lies that I’m always going to be the one who’s lacking something, or I could simply trust the Truth that I am wonderfully made, that I have worth because I am created in the image of God, that I am, in fact, worth it.
The problem with comparison is that it will destroy you if you let it. It will rob you of your joy and your own worth. So today, when I feel a little vulnerable, tired, and not very pretty, talented, or awesome, I will refuse to give into the opportunities to compare that I know are coming my way.
Jesus doesn’t compare me to anyone else, so why should I? He just loves me for being the unique ME He created me to be.