Last weekend, during my unexpected weekend in Nashville, a friend and I decided to go over the East Nashville to one of our favorite places, Jeni’s Ice Cream.
(OK, as a total aside, if you live in Nashville and haven’t gone to Jeni’s, go! It’s delicious! I love the black coffee ice cream, enjoyed the goat cheese and cherry, and can’t say enough about their salted caramel ice cream—and I’m not a big caramel fan! And then there’s this sundae called the Black and Tan sundae. Oh. My. Word! Anyway, go!)
So my friend and I had decided to go to Jeni’s, but we had to park down a side street next to a random house, since parking in the area can be a nightmare. Plus, we figured we were going to get ice cream, so we might as well build a little exercise into the trip, right?
To get to Jeni’s from where we’d parked, we had to walk past a bunch of houses and condos, turn right by a Portland Brew coffee shop, fight through the crowd of people who are always outside of the Mexican restaurant, and cross the street to Jeni’s. But when we made our turn at the coffee shop, we saw a group of guys sitting outside. The lights were on in the coffee shop, but no one was inside and the doors were locked. One of the guys saw us coming, and started loudly talking to us in a game show announcer voice.
Well, this is about to get interesting, I thought.
As our new random friend explained, he and his buddies had just driven three hours to do a book reading at the coffee shop. But when they’d arrived, they had found the shop closed and the doors locked. Not to be deterred and adamant about doing his book reading, he’d decided to do it on the sidewalk outside the coffee shop and involve passers-by. He pointed at a picture of Kenny Rogers he’d taped up on a post, along with signs that asked Who killed Kenny Rogers?, and started asking us Kenny Rogers’ trivia.
While I knew the answer to the first question (The Gambler), a woman who was passing by answered it and he awarded her with a set of Gambler playing cards. Grr. MY Gambler playing cards. (OK, so I really didn’t want the cards and we definitely used this opportunity while the random book reading guy’s attention was on someone else, and made our way to Jeni’s.)
After I devoured delicious bowl of various scoops of ice cream and Alisha ate her parfait, we starting walking back toward the car. I wondered out loud if the random book reading guy would still be there. When he wasn’t, I wondered what was going on at the coffee shop, since all the lights were on, but no one was there and the doors were locked. Alisha and I talked about how disappointing it must have been for that guy and his friends to drive all that way and not get to do his reading. We decided to walk up to the front door and see if there was a sign or anything that told a little more about what was going on.
But there was a note. From the random book reading guy.
I can’t remember all of it, but the gist was that he had driven all that way to do a book reading and the store hadn’t been open and why didn’t they have the common courtesy to call him? It went on that way for awhile, until finally drawing to a close in which he informed the management of the shop that they were mean people and basically dead to him. The last line was the kicker, though:
You make babies cry!
As if that were the most terrible thing in the world.
You make babies cry!
It’s ridiculous and stupid and hilarious all at the same time. And it just might have become my new favorite catchphrase.