Ever had one of those days when something seems like a really big deal . . . but later you figure out maybe it’s not?
Welcome to my yesterday.
On Tuesday night, I went with a friend to hear another friend play in a new faces show—and he didn’t go on until 10 p.m. Which was fine and great and a ton of fun. And it wasn’t a long set, so I wasn’t even out that late.
But I didn’t go right to bed once I got home, meaning yesterday morning was a little hard. But I wanted to get to work in time for chapel, since Ricky Skaggs was playing, so I was moving almost as soon as the alarm went off. So I got to work, answered some emails, went to chapel.
I hurried back to my office and marked a few things off the to-do list. I started editing, believing I had until lunch time to really dig into the girls’ Bible study (240 pages) I am currently editing in addition to keeping a monthly mag going (with a team of 4).
Then I realized I had a meeting at 10 a.m. About travel and expense reports. About policies that I personally think are kind of silly.
So my morning had been quickly stolen away and that Bible study still looked much the same as it had when I’d opened it a few hours before. So much for making progress. . .
Lunch. Deep editing for one hour. Presentations in customer service about changes to the magazine. For two hours.
And when I got back to my office, I was tired. Really tired. And had about a gajillion emails waiting for me, one of which inviting (I use that term loosely) to a retreat for a team I’m on at work. An overnight retreat that we’re asked to rearrange our schedules to attend. And it’s scheduled for September 20-21, the week in which everything important in my life can happen and is currently planning to.
My wonderful friend Mindy is getting married on September 24. And my first priority is her that week. I want the time we have preparing for her wedding and celebrating it to be special and relaxed and my mind to be devoted to her. And it will be, because I’m just going to make sure it is!
I’m also going to attend as much of Hutchmoot as I can that same weekend with my friend Brandy, who’ll be staying with me. Obviously, priority goes to the wedding and Mindy, but I also want to see my friend who I don’t get to see that often.
And I’d already scheduled time off so I can help with wedding set-up and some Hutchmoot stuff on September 22-25, then September 26-27 to recover and give myself a little bit of downtime.
So when I got that email, my already tired spirits sank even lower. By the time I made it to choir rehearsal last night, I’d spent more than a few minutes being stressed out by the turn of events, crying, and praying. And I’d self-medicated with a chocolate shake. Which was AMAZING, by the way. It doesn’t help that I am currently so busy and stressed about my workload anyway that I have only taken two vacation days and one travel day since January 1.
I’m physically and mentally tired; there’s a lot of work. I want that week in September to be a special time with a dear friend. I need a break from work, a few days when I don’t have to worry about deadlines or design and no one is calling me or emailing me with questions.
And last night, all of that got the better of me.
But this morning, as often happens in the clearer light of day, I realized that this is not the end of the world. My coworkers aren’t looking at my schedule and coming up with a surefire way to kill me. We’re all overloaded, tired, and busy. And really, who isn’t?
And that time with my friend will be special—just because it’s going to be. We’re entering a new phase in our friendship and our lives and we will make sure it’s marked with the right amount of joy, fun, and probably, knowing us, a few tears (happy ones).
These things that I’m stressing about two months before they actually happen are just things. This too shall pass. And I don’t have to take all the burdens on myself and manage it all alone. I have a team at work who can help. I can ask others to make the decisions that need to be made while I’m gone and nothing will crash around my ears.
I was upset yesterday because I thought I was the most important person in the situation, the linchpin. Truth is, I’m not. Not even close. And my work, as important as it may be, should not overshadow the relationships God has blessed me with.
So, I’m not going to let it.
So, Mindy, know this: you are my priority that weekend. And I hope that even amid all the busyness and stress that has been my life lately that you know that. 🙂