I hate all this waiting,
knowing the other shoe will drop.
I hate the tears that come unbidden,
the ones I just can’t stop.
I’m in a fog of grief;
It’s hard to see or think.
The world goes on around me;
but my heart still plays its tune,
even though it feels a little like an open wound.
I feel like I’m wandering all alone in a city I don’t know,
lost and so confused,
wearing sorrow like a necklace that’s heavy on my chest.
I hate this long goodbye, the disease that robbed us of your smile.
I knew that this day was coming, just didn’t know it would feel so much like fear.
I know I’m not alone, not really,
but it doesn’t stop the longing for Home.
So, I will remember you with gladness, a smile on your face.
I’ll think of you with laughter, a sparkle in your eyes.
I will miss you in the summer when the corn is growing tall;
think of you when cotton blooms, at the harvest in the fall.
I’ll remember you at springtime, when flowers are in bloom,
and miss you in the winter when the world begins anew.
Thank you for your love;
I give mine back to you.
For those who don’t know, I write these words with the knowledge that my Grandma is likely in her last days. My family and I would appreciate your prayers during this time.