dating

So, awhile ago, I saw this article on Yahoo when I was checking my mail. No, I do not normally read the dating articles, but sometimes they’re just so, well, hilarious.

This one was no exception. Let’s talk about it.

First off, the title cracks me up. I love that there are people out there who actually plot out their “flirting moves.” I, obviously, am not one of them. Even my mother agrees that I need a class in basic flirting techniques. I am not so good at the flirting.

Then, there are the flirting moves that the guy/girl writers like. Things like “The Longer-Than-Normal Eye Gaze” or “The Wink.” OK, the eye gaze thing I sort of get. But if someone tries to employ that too early in the relationship or WAY too much, it gets creepy really fast. And the wink? Honestly, if a guy winked at me I’d probably run very far away. How do you even employ this tactic without looking like a complete and total dork? (Actually, a guy has winked at me. Cesar. We all know how that worked out. )

Tip #3 is the hair flip—which, really I can say nothing against. Guys I know tell me it’s highly effective. Yet, the writers of this particular article hate it. So, do whatever you want. If you do choose to employ the hair flip, ladies, do note this important fact: it’s WAY hard to do with short hair. I’m just saying.

I’m also pretty disturbed that the article suggests women licking their lips or sucking on a lollipop. (I mean, really? Do people actually do this?!) Actually, that’s what I was left asking after reading most of the article. I mean, I never think about these things. I don’t have names for flirting moves. I don’t have flirting moves.

Maybe this is why I’m single. .  .

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