OK, dear readers, I made a massive tactical error last night.
Funny thing is, it’s one I’ve made before! Large amounts of coffee after a certain time at night when you’re going to get up at 5 a.m. Yeah, not such a great idea.
Let me start this story by telling another story. I am someone who needs sleep. Not just some, not just a few hours. I need my eight (or actually, 6.5, usually) hours in order to function. Oh, I can manage on a few hours sleep if necessary, but only for a short amount of time. Because at some point, it’s all going to come crashing down and the good mood, patience, and sense of humor I’ve been able to display will be gone. The crash is not pretty, guys. And it’s inevitable. You’ve all seen it. This would be the time when some of you start receiving rambling, grumpy, badly punctuated emails from me demanding that you entertain me. I mean, come on, my mom had to break me from taking naps when I went to school. And I still ask for naptime to be instated at my office. Because, really, it sometimes would help my productivity!
So the last time I looked at the clock, it was midnight. Midnight! Which is fine and not all that late for some of you, but I get up at 5 a.m. Midnight means 5 hours of sleep. Midnight usually means grumpy.
But so far so good. I expect the crash around 2 p.m., unless copious amounts of caffeine are introduced into my system through various delivery systems.
So expect the email. And started thinking of ways to entertain me.
It’s your duty as an American citizen. Because, truly, helping me through the crash and the consequences of my own idiocy is in the best interest of the nation.